Signs to Move On

Signs proving your town has gone down the swanny and it is time to sell up and move on:

1. When the streets are awash with rubbish which floats up and down the streets, this is no American Beauty – Paperbag scene, more like a a clip from Sesame Street with Oscar the Grouch.


2. When the town residents perfect that hop-skip & jump to avoid the immense quantities of dog poop fouling the pavement.  As a responsible dog owner, I award myself a gold star for always picking up after Black Dog, shame no-one else is as considerate..I think Razor Kitty described it best here, as did A Modern Mother with her daughter’s experience here.

3. When it is usual to see gangs of adults, who clearly have nothing better to do, loitering around the town centre during the day, loudly swapping stories about their run-in’s with the law (which are truly shocking).  The closer one dares to get, the more apparent where that stench of alcohol and B.O is originating from.

4. When the roads are no better than those found in third world countries.  With plenty of deep potholes (even before the cold winter of 2009/10) and badly re-patched road surfaces, drivers are expected to continue to pay their road and council tax without complaint.


5. When the town’s playground/park is known locally as the druggies hangout and not a place where children are welcome.

6. When there are more pound shops than you can ever imagine…so much so, you can now differentiate between a good pound shop and a bad pound shop.

7. When the neighbours stop caring about their property and all the houses in your street look old and derelict.  With odd bits of furniture left out front (ok, its not always that bad, but I really wish my neighbours would clean up their driveway) and that damn rubbish hanging about, you wonder what ever attracted you to buy in the area.

8. When the best place to eat is McDonalds.  Oh yes, there are many other eateries in the town, but they are all so awful they actually make a Quarter Pounder with Cheese look really good.


9. When you realise some of the old ladies doddering about dont possess a pair of gloves, instead they use socks to keep their hands warm….yes it truly is that bad.

10. When you receive an advice leaflet from the Government in the post, explaining how to deal with Anti Social Behaviour.


And people ask why we are planning on moving to New Zealand!!  Check this out:

c’mon, its a no brainer!!!

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5 responses to “Signs to Move On

  1. Cripes – that ‘Tackling Anti-Social Behaviour’ really is the icing on the cake! I couldn’t help but laugh – perversely – at the list, which is actually painfully sad.

  2. there’s not really any competition there is there! NZ does look divine.

  3. To sarah – unbelievable right?? Its ok for you – you are already in the Land of the White Cloud you lucky devil!!! Not too much longer for us (hopefully!)

    To Heather – New Zealand, Australia…..OMG anywhere but here!! Have I been blinded until now? Has it always been this bad in the UK? Cant see any quick fixes anyway, deffo time to go!

  4. Can I come and live with you? I am good in making pancakes. And Margaritas 🙂

    • LOL….I think the next Br.Mummy Bloggers meet should be in NZ with a stop over in the Caribbean….with margaritas all round, just to get the party started!

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